If Only, I Could Keep Him
by HonuLove3
Summary: It's Katniss and Peeta's last night before the Quell and Katniss finally shares her feelings with Peeta.


A/N: This is a one-shot (I don't even know what that means, but I'm guessing it means I wrote it down all at once?) Anyways, this is the first story I've written. Which means this is the first lemon-y story I've written. Feel free to leave comments! Maybe I'll make it better with the help of you **constructive** criticism. Thank you, That is all.

Btw, this story takes place in CF! now I give you:

If Only, I Could Keep Him:

* * *

_We walk down the hallway. Peeta wants to stop by his room to shower off the makeup and meet me in a few minutes, but I won't let him. I'm certain that if a door shuts between us, it will lock and I'll have to spend the night without him. Besides, I have a shower in my room. I refuse to let go of his hand._

I lead him into my room and finally release his hand when the door closes safely behind us. Peeta goes to sit on the edge of my bed and I follow him. Tonight is the last night we have together before the games and I don't want him out of my view.

Peeta seems to read my mind. "Katniss, go take your shower, I swear I won't leave." He always seems to understand me. I nod my head.

"Fine," I say in a wavering voice. "But first can you help undo my dress?" He comes up behind me and his fingertips slightly breach the inside of my dress as he undoes the clasp. This slight touch from Peeta sends shivers down my spine. "Thanks". I consider letting the dress fall to get back at Peeta for telling all of Panem that I was pregnant, but I decide otherwise and grab the front of my dress. Showing him something he'll probably never see is going too far. Especially since I know his feelings for me.

I head toward the bathroom and jump into the shower. I press the button for hot water and steam fills the room. The hot water feels particularly soothing against my tired muscles. I clear my mind and enjoy the heat of the shower.

I step out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel. My pajamas are outside with Peeta. Just remembering that he is out there comforts me. Tomorrow when we enter the arena, only one will make it out alive and I'm going to make damn sure it's him. But for now, all I can think of is the present and how nice it will be to sleep next to Peeta for maybe the last time.

"You took a long time, I was almost going to burst in there and save you in case you fell in the toilet." He tells me in a teasing manner. I attempt to slap him on his shoulder but he catches my hand and chuckles with a big grin on his face. "Whoa Katniss, save that for tomorrow. "

"Now it's your turn to take a shower and get all this makeup off of your pretty little face" A smirk flashes across my face and I push him towards the bathroom.

"Alright, whatever you say. Look, I'll even keep the door open so you can make sure I don't escape." I know he's joking, but it somehow comforts me. Once in the bathroom, I can only barely see him off the reflection of the mirror. Only once in a while do parts of him flash in the view of the mirror. He throws his clothes near the doorway of the bathroom and I can't help it but give a brief chuckle. When I hear the water turn on I assume it's safe to change. So I drop my towel and lean down to pick up my pajamas from the drawer. When I stand again, something in the bathroom mirror catches my eye. It's Peeta's eyes. I quickly bring my clothes up to cover myself. The eyes disappear and I feel embarrassed but probably not as embarrassed as Peeta. I don't know how much he saw since the mirror was pretty fogged up. I shrug it off and continue to change myself, this time with my back facing the bathroom. A few seconds after I'm done, I hear the water turn off and I sit at the edge of the bed waiting for Peeta to come out.

Peeta comes out with a towel around his waist. His chest looks strong and chiseled. His moist body glistens in the light. I take a second to marvel at him. But apparently I lost track of time because then Peeta breaks the silence. "I just realized I'll probably have to wear something from one of your drawers. You know, since you didn't let me go to my room and all."

"Right." I say, now feeling a little guilty for not letting him go to his room to shower but still feeling like I made the right decision. "Let's see what the Capitol gave me to wear". I walk to the dresser and open the drawer filled with tops. "Well, these aren't going to really work for you. They're all way too small for you, unless you want a pink lacy camisole." I hold it up to him with a laugh.

"No thanks, I rather that be on you instead of me"

"It's okay, you don't have to wear a shirt tonight."

"Are you sure Katniss?"

"Yeah, it's my fault anyways for not letting you go to your room. Now lets check the underwear department… I doubt we'll have luck here too." I shuffle through lacy panties that are obviously too small for him. Could the Capitol have picked any more girlie underwear? So I look in another drawer and I find running shorts. Perfect. "Here you go Peeta, your boxers for the night."

"Great. They'll work just fine. I'll change in the bathroom."

"No no, you can change here. I promise I won't look." I snicker and then add in, "no peep show for me tonight."

He turns bright red. "Oh, you saw me. I'm sorry. But in my defense, I never promised I wouldn't look." Peeta gives me a big innocent smile.

I roll my eyes "Oh yeah, sure." I turn around and get the bed ready for us. I climb into the warm sheets and by the time I turn towards him, he is already changed and starting to get in bed. He reaches up to turn off the lights and then we adjust ourselves in our usual positions- him on his back and me on my side using his arm as a pillow.

"Goodnight Katniss, sweet dreams."

"Goodnight Peeta." Minutes pass and I can tell that none of us are near sleeping tonight. We are both thinking of the arena. We both want each other to win and go home. I can make out his silhouette in the moonlight. His chest moves up and down and the outline of his face looks beautiful. Hesitantly, I touch my hand to his chest. It's firm and his skin is baby soft. Warmth is radiating from his body. Now I'm glad I couldn't find him a shirt. "Peeta?"

"Hey Katniss."

"When were you going to tell me we were pregnant?"

He snorts. "Sorry. Our baby is going to be so beautiful you know." Jokingly, he touches my stomach and rubs it.

"You know, strangely, that feels very calming." I say as my body begins relaxing and I roll onto my back. He continues to rub my stomach, kind of like the way my father did when I couldn't sleep, except this feels different with Peeta.

My shirt lifts a little and his hand momentarily touches my bare skin. He pulls back, but I retrieve his hand and put it back onto my bare stomach with my shirt still covering my breasts. He shifts his body to the side so it's easier for him to rub me. I close my eyes and sigh deeply. He slowly gets closer to my breasts and eventually ends up grazing the bottom of my breast. It doesn't bother me so I keep my eyes closed. He notices that it doesn't bother me so he becomes more confident and begins to massage the bottom of my breast with his thumb and forefinger. This sends pleasure throughout my body. I feel warmth spreading to all my limbs and my toes begin to involuntarily curl.

"Peeta?" He gets startled and stops what he is doing. "I really like what you're doing. I just thought you might like to know that." He gives out a relieved laugh and continues massaging me. Then he slowly moves his hand up and begins caressing my breasts, careful to avoid my nipples. This sends me into a new state of delirium. Nobody has ever touched me this way. His warm touch radiates throughout me and my back arches unwillingly. I let out small moans. I realize I don't want just his hand touching me- I want all of him.

Even though I have more history with Gale, I've never seen him as more than anything but a friend. He's never expressed any interest in me and I've never either. Peeta and I have been through near death experiences together. We've done things that Gale and I never have, like sleep together in the same bed and kill another human being to keep them safe. Peeta is the only one who truly understands for me, and I know he cares for me deeply. He's the one I want to wake up next to everyday. He's the one I want to comfort me. He's the one I want to share my love with. I can't believe I've been so blind for so long. I want Peeta, I choose Peeta.

I roll onto my side and stare into his blue eyes. They look back at me and I can see longing in his eyes. He's wanted me for so long and I think it's about time he got what he wanted.

I put my hand onto his chest and he moves his hand to my hair. I explore his chest and feel every crevice of his abs. Under his breath, I can hear him tell himself to calm down. On accident, my hand goes very close to the top of the running shorts and I feel some thing hard. He makes a sharp breath and I pull back my arm. "Sorry," I say quickly.

"No, it's okay Katniss, you just surprised me…that's all." I give a relieved nod and go back to exploring his chest- careful to avoid his more intimate area. Whatever I touched, I know he wanted to hide it from me. With my index finger I lightly trace his body back up to his head. Trying to be spontaneous and flirty, I pull him towards me and barely touch my lips to his. This doesn't satisfy me and I don't think it satisfies him either because then he pulls me in. Our lips make contact and it feels more than just satisfying- it feels like passion. This kiss feels more real than our other kisses. It's not forced like it usually is to keep our cover of the star-crossed lovers. It makes me want more.

We continue kissing with passion and I feel heat rising in my core. With my tongue, I lightly trace his bottom lip and he opens his mouth to let my tongue in. I have never kissed this way before, but my lips seem to have a mind of their own. Pressure builds underneath me. I can feel my underwear becoming warm and wet. Soon, the kisses become less and less satisfying, and I'm yearning for more than just our tongues touching.

I roll on top of him and I kiss his neck and his collarbone. Feeling more naughty, I lick his jaw and he gives out a moan. My breasts press into his chest. I sit up, straddling him, and feel something hard between my thighs.

"Katniss" he says softly, "What are you doing?"

"I've realized Peeta, that it's you that I want and no one else."

"You can have me," he says in a seductive voice as he pulls me back down to him. My hands run through his hair while he kisses my neck. His hands move up my shirt and he begins pulling off of me. I sit up and throw my shirt away. Now I am half naked in front of Peeta, but it doesn't feel weird to me- it feels almost natural. I bend down to kiss him and with each kiss, I move lower and lower on his body, sometimes licking him. A pulsating sensation grows in my vagina. Muted moans and pants come out of his mouth. There's a big bulge and his pants now. Peeta sits up and grabs my face.

"Are you sure you want this?"

I give him a nod and he gives me a long kiss.

"You will be my first and only," he whispers into my ear. He comes atop me and kisses me. I taste something salty and I realize he's tearing. It's also then that I also notice I'm crying too. I also want him to be my first and only. His hands move down my side and down my pants into my underwear. His hand rubs my clit and he slides a finger inside me. I give a sudden gasp and my back arches. Then, another finger slips in before he slides my pants and underwear off of me. He steps off the bed and the loss of contact kills me inside. He quickly takes off his pants, releasing the bulge. His penis is long and thick. I've seen a man's part before when my mother was treating someone on the kitchen table, and it has always made me uncomfortable. This being Peeta's though, I found it to be beautiful. Peeta, himself, is beautiful.

He lies back on top of me and intertwines my fingers into his. My hands are pinned above my head in the pillow. His hardness rubs against my thigh and my vagina is wet.

"Katniss? I want to be inside you." He stares into my eyes, giving me one last chance to pull away. I know this is going to hurt, but I want it. If anyone is going to hurt me this way, I want it to be Peeta.

"Make love to me Peeta," I say back to him assuring him that I want it. He gives me another kiss and lets go of my left hand. He reaches down to his penis as I spread my legs for him. Now he is between me and he directs his penis into my hole. The tip slides in and I already feel a stretching sensation. A silent whimper escapes my mouth. He slides halfway in and it starts becoming uncomfortable, like I'm already full. This time my whimper isn't silent. He looks into my face and when I give his an assuring smile, he slides all the way in. I gasp and he stops. I adjust my hips until it becomes a little more comfortable for me.

"Okay Peeta, you can move now," I try to say in a calm voice but it comes out more hurt than I intended.

He looks into my eyes for a second and starts pushing slowly. The pain is uncomfortable, yet pleasuring at the same time. He starts to get faster and the pain slowly recedes.

"You're so tight Katniss. You're Perfect." He grunts between strokes and my breathing is sharp. The pain is still there but the feeling is just so damn nice, I don't want him to stop. My arms are wrapped around his neck I can feel his body convulse on every thrust. With every thrust, I can't help but moan. I hear him whisper between each push my name, and it makes me feel like a goddess that I'm making him feel this way.

"I love you. Oh, I love you so much," I hear him say.

I'm startled but I tell him, "I love you too."

He stops, still inside me. "Do you really mean that Katniss?"

I pause. _Do I really love him?_ Yes, I do. It took me so long to realize what my feelings were for Peeta. I've never felt like this for another human being.

I wrap my legs around his hips, shoving all of him into me again. I look into his blue eyes and with a kiss reply, "I do. I love you Peeta. Forever and always."

We continue kissing and he starts thrusting into me again. This time, he moves faster and harder, like a crazed lover. The nice boy is gone, and wild man has taken his place. The pain is finally gone and all I feel is intense pleasure. I move my hips in the same rhythm as his. He is deep inside me when all the sudden I feel out of control. He senses this and hits the area over and over again. Surprisingly, his thrusts become faster and stronger. We both moan loudly and I feel an explosion in my vagina.

He slows and eventually stops pushing. He rests atop me and continues kissing me lazily. He never pulls out of me and his hardness is gone. Our breathing is uneven. Soreness suddenly overwhelms me, but I still have enough strength to kiss him back and run my hands all over his back. He is moist from his sweat. We are no longer between the sheets and I can see every dimple on his back.

We rest for a while, until he breaks the silence. "You were wonderful Katniss. You really know how to make me happy."

I giggle. "This is more strenuous than the training we did. We should have trained this way."

He looks at me and prepares to pull out of me. But for some reason, I don't want him too. So I wrap my legs around him. He laughs but gives in and doesn't try to pull out. He takes my face and kisses me again. "I love you."

"I love you too." We kiss again and I feel him getting bigger again. I know he's tired, but I still have strength in me. This time, I roll onto him and straddle him. I slowly start grinding into him and he starts moaning loudly. His hands slide up to my hips and he helps me ride him. My breasts move everywhere as I start picking up the pace. I grind into him and he is always deep inside me. His testacles rub against my clit. I shout his name as I find the spot again. His moans become louder and louder and I feel a welcome explosion again.

I roll off of him, this time with no remaining energy. We are both tired. He isn't in me anymore, but it doesn't matter anymore because now I am satisfied. This last night together was beautiful. This is probably the last time I'll ever make love to him. Tomorrow, the games start and I'm going to do whatever I can so he lives. If everything goes accordingly, I won't be here next week but I will aways be in his heart. Peeta may move on to someone else, but for me, Peeta will be my one and only.

If only, I could keep him.


End file.
